LEAVING LOVED ONES BEHIND Monday September 26, 2005

Tonight I’m a little awry of what’s to become of me health wise. I can’t help but be a little frightened. Nowhere to run- I stand still just paralyzed from shock all the time. I’m constantly clouded about my future and very unsure where things are heading. I can sometimes over consume my whole entire thought processes with confusion, sadness, disappointment, frustration, disillusionment, fear, low levels or even no concentration and depression. I can’t make sense of this breast cancer. I’m very clouded most of the time with thoughts of what will I do after radiation, if recurrence occurs or how long I even to have survive. I dread the thought of leaving any loved ones behind. I don’t want any of them to be sad. I just want them to know that I loved them with all my heart and will love them for eternity. Who knows- maybe there’s eternal life in heaven and we’ll all be up there together one day. I know for sure- we’ll always and forever be together- ALWAYS! I have learned that life is so very short and to live it to the fullest with God always in your heart and soul. He looks for everyone. Do a lot of that’s good in your heart and soul also. Like the ten commandments. Plus, there’s much more not mentioned like share your unique spirit to the fullest and constantly expand your horizons. Our world goes on and on. For all I know, I can have three years, 286 days, 18 hours, 38 minutes and 52 seconds left on earth. Or I can be conked by a meteor left on earth. Or I can be conked by a meteor from space in three hours from now. Who knows. Only God knows. Remember to live life to the fullest!