HOW'S YOUR OVERALL HEALTH DOING? Saturday June 17, 2006

I’ve been pretty miserable these last few weeks. I’m coming to terms that my health is slowly deteriorating. I’m in such pain all the time that I seem to have a smile like the Joker. Man I’m in so much misery too. I hope heaven is super beautiful just like all the good times with babe and my family. I’d prefer we all go on a plane trip together get in a crash and go to the golden gates all together. That’s super selfish though. My pain is c continuous in my lower back making my hips painful, I have more frequent headaches, it feels like I have the flu all the time really and on the side where my lymph nodes got removed it’s a life long ache that can be best described as a bruise around my entire right shoulder and halfway down my arm. Plus its just aching more which really sucks. To add to the misery, I’ve been aching on the left side of my neck from sleeping on it wrong. My goodness. I think on most days I’m so so. I’d like to walk normally with no pain in my hips. The rain is a little stressful and really miserable. I try to tell myself that it’s just all in the head which it probably is but I can’t get rid of the pain. I endure it though so I can spend time with my family and tootsie roll. I’m not scared of going to heaven and being with lots of other angels. I do not want any of my loved ones to be sad. I want them to know I’m glad I’m free from pain and flying through clouds and even singing. No matter what we’ll see each other again. Please be happy for me and only remember good funny times. I hope you remember to give me red tulips on my grave too- I really love red tulips. Gawd, I sound like I’m going to die in an hour. J Silly wabbit me. Stupid neck- damn it hurts. I need a neck massager. Man that sounds nice or Brad pitts hands! Haha! Or babes!